"So the cops KNEW that Internal Affairs was setting them up?"

As previously mentioned, my main political home slice is Wisconsin Senator Russell "The Muscle" Feingold, a ballsy motherfucker who just raised his stock in my eyes another billion percent by being the first national Democratic figure to call for a timeline for withdrawal from Iraq while "serious" would-be presidents like Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden snivel a line of mindless, Bushian "stay the course" crap. It was the right thing to do and, perhaps coincidentally, though probably not, positions Feingold as potentially THE anti-war presidential candidate in 2008, when the idiotic debate about how many imaginary Universal soldiers we should send to the glowing crater formerly known as Iraq. If Feingold were to become a serious contender in 2008, it would create an unprecedented situation for me: a general election in which a candidate from a major party was something other than a corrupt, venal, power mad sociopath.

This brings us to a Terminator 2-type paradox: it is a vivid conviction of mine that ONLY corrupt, venal, power mad sociopaths CAN become president. Remember, the president of the United States is essentially hired during the primaries by the corporate order and his job while in office is to do as little as possible to threaten an exploitative and deadly status quo. The sort of cold-blooded disregard for ethics, personal relationships, principle and basic human decency that is required to crawl to the top of the sweaty clusterfuck of greasy-palmed politicians, coupled with the monomania necessary to WANT to have the job, means that no decent person could successfully run for president and stay decent. You have to have a pathological drive for self-aggrandizement at all costs that allows you to make any number of massive compromises in your most basic beliefs like Nixon, Clinton or Kerry, or a breathtaking vacuity without beliefs to compromise, like Ronald Reagan and the current vandal. You have to back-stab, sell-out, allow yourself to become a hollow vessel for the vision of donors and the media, you have to have your personality steamrolled into oblivion, smooth off every rough patch, reduce your formerly passionate and complicated political views into a simple, easily-digestible, meaningless paste. You have to repeat the same dead phrases until the very idea of political rhetoric being connected to actual policy or vision is as foreign as Sanskrit. When you finally take that oath to uphold the office of the president, anything even vaguely human has been buffed away like the finish on one of Condi Rice’s dildoes.

So, that means that if Feingold WERE somehow to emerge from a field of craven douche nozzles to claim the Democratic nomination, providing the American people with the first time in a century with someone WORTH voting for…it would already mean that he WASN’T worth voting for.

Shit, “Donnie Darko” wasn’t this confusing.