Can't Miss Movie Pitches the Second!

Back, by popular demand, more of my guaranteed blockbuster movie ideas. Take, use, become fat with wealth from my genius.

Idea One:

Freddy v.s. Jason v.s. James Garfield: It's a well-known fact that kids love pizza, and they love squalor! They also love recreations of presidential assassinations as performed by their favorite horror bad guys! See Freddy enter President Garfield's dreams in the form of rival Republican presidential candidate James G. Blaine, see Jason chop up an entire battalion of the Grand Army of the Republic! Nick Nolte cameos as Charles Giteau, the hapless drifter who is framed for the assassination.

Idea Two:

Sexual Heeling: The distraught ex-boyfriend (the part screams Affleck!) of an obedience school trainer (Nick Nolte in a sundress) infiltrates her class disguised as a basset hound in order to win back the love of his life! The third-act conflict comes as Affleck must choose between continuing his pursuit of the woman who scorned him, or accept the affections of a classmate: a randy German shepard named Peaches.

Idea Three:

A Barrel of Chimpanzees Electrocuted with Cattle Prods: Self-explanatory. Nick Nolte as the the barrel.