The Best Birthday Present I've Ever Received.

You know, it's easy to look upon the world, upon life, upon the central paradoxes and travails of existence, and despair. We live in an artificial, hermetic universe of synthetic experience: fake food, fake drink, fake emotions, fraudulent conceptions of what it means to connect with other human beings, or even to perceive ourselves as individuals. Worst of all, there are no meaningful avenues of expression left to us: all transmission systems are co-opted to the purpose of a corporate hive mind that assimilates all dissent and commodifies all angst. What we are left with, too often, is a life of numb compliance, mild discontent that rests in the stomach like a bit of bad roast beef that is never digested, a life that never achieves visceral satisfaction or even visceral horror. We will die, most likely, without ever having tasted blood in our mouths. So, in other words, life can be a downer.

But then, something really hilariously wonderful will happen and the clouds will part, if only for a moment, to let you bathe in the pure rays of sunshine.

Tom Delay got his greasy ass indicted today.

It feels like a batch of honey-dipped kittens are nuzzling my small intestine.